When you want to do something but your brain doesn't. What is there to do?

Please.

Raise your hand if your brain's voices sound like this.

Okay, I'm back from my mission.
You're not a missionary, so I'm just a person.
Not the same person. A different person.
I should do something with my time.
waaaaaait. I know what! I should write a book about my missionary adventures!
Or just start writing my new ones. That's it. I have to keep a journal.
But I've been drawing loads. Maybe that's my new journal. Maybe a could sign into Art School and learn how to paint.
But that's not necessary. I can learn on Youtube and It's for free. And then I can use that money to buy canvas to paint awesome things for the living room.
But I won't see them anymore because I'm engaged and getting married in December. Maybe I should start painting for our living room. Maybe not. Yeah, forget that. Who needs to have art in their living room in their first home?
Maye a should just save that money.
I could just write about my missionary adventures!
But that isn't really calling me.
I should write another book.
Al the Traveler, 19th. Floor, or all the other stories that are drafted in old notebooks and ripped pages.
Or maybe I should be a serious writer and get a freelance writing job like the one Hafid showed me.
Or I should take college more seriously and actually study and also find a career online.
Stop planning on spending money, Gaby. You should just write about your missionary adventures.

Don't have voices in your brain? Oh. Yeah. Neither do I. I mean, that's weird.

Nope. The world isn't gonna end. Yet.

Dear friends,

Since I first started this blog, it was my home. I remember how I put so much effort to make it look good and actually posting regularly. I remember me sitting down for hours to draw and thing how I was gonna do it. At that time I was participating NaNoWriMo and that was pretty much all I was doing. After that I went to Munich for a year, then came back and later, went on a mission. Here are some pictures. 

Being a missionary was an advanture, I will forever treasure the moments I spent in Guatemala, Berlin and Dresden. 

And I'm exited for what comes next. 

That's no Big Deal.

It's 8:08 AM and I have 5% battery left. That's not important when you're busy at work or at the gym because you have a week of vacations just like I was minutes ago. Of course, that's no big deal.

But it happens that you get extremely bored while excercising because you honestly didn't want to excercise so early. You get so bored and so dismotivated that all you wanna do is sleep on the wooden floor that coaches use for kickboxing, salsa and yoga. Your boredom is so intense you sort of feel that gravity pushes you down to the floor and your arms move slowly.

Then you decide you're done and you tell you brother you wanna go, you know you're acting like a little kid but you don't mind. You espect he goes home with you but instedbhe calls the gym instructor and you end up doing soulder excercises.

Slowly and quickly you get out of the gym and alk you carry with  you is your phone with a Blogger app you haven't used for months.

You laugh and decide there is nothing to do in 40 minutes so you're going tonwrite because that's what you think you're good at and you hope you're right.

But then, you notice you have 5% battery so you hurry and write as fast as you can trying to spell correctly because when you're done you probably aren't gonna have time to check grammar and spelling after you write.

But you're proud because it's 8:27 and you still have 2% battery. That's not important when you're busy at work or at the gym because you have a week of vacations just like I was minutes ago. Of course, that's no big deal.

Back on The Track

Recently I've been listening to a lot of speaches about goals. Let's say that people have very different ideas for achieving.

"Have lots of goals so you achieve some of them!" Uh, no thanks.

"Have one goal. Work on it even if you don't want to achieve it anymore!" Are you kidding me?

"Write down your goals. Put them where you can read them everyday." Not bad, will do.

"Find real motivation. Be passionate about your goals."

Touché.

I have a bunch of goals. I just haven find the real motivation to achieve them. If your goal is to loose weigth, think about the reason you want that. Thats when I realize not every goal was my idea. It was probably something I heard or sromething people normally set as goal.

Once I realize that. I discard it,  focusing on my goals.

So, this week I found out my goal is to edit my book.

And I found real motivation. What's yours?

The Writing Sunday

Hey guys. I just finished watching The Magic Beyond Words. You might know what I'm talking about if you're a Potterhead. I went down to my room after an awesome morning at church and an evening with my family.

Ugh Okayyyy, not my family, because I'm still on Germany but my host family. We had double layer chocolate cake because they weren't here on my birthday, Anjo and I got to blow the candles and I got a ticket to Bruno Mars on November people! 

B-r-u-n-o M-a-r-s. Yes, you read it right. How cool is that?

Then I finally had a little time to play with my host brother/best friend. Today I was a baby, he gave me milk and told me stories because he was my dad. Then we were sharks and we protected each other from fishes. It was the longest day of the week. And it was a long week I might add. When you wake up at seven  to run to the train to go to german classes and make it back to you room at nine after cleaning the kitchen you just can't think anymore. All you can do is say you good night prayer and go to bed. At least that's all I can do. At least I got to read The Best Girl, by Emma Harrison. I think It was the ninth time. What? Don't you dare think I'm nuts. If you guys haven't read it, you should. I'm not a fan of Chick Lit, but this book was written by the Queen of  "Show, don't Tell." if you're a writer you might know what I'm saying.

So, today I had planned to go to church at night, but instead I decided to go to sleep early. Because that's what a normal person would do knowing that she has to wake up at five to Skype with her mom. So, I got to my room and after calling Ana I decided I could organize my photos again. I just can't deal with messy pictures. Now, that took me an hour. 

Later, I thought Well I'm not gonna have time to write to the missionaries tomorrow. Let's just do that. But. I had an idea on the back of my head. The Magic beyond Words. 

The Magic Beyond Words, Guys. You can't say no to The Magic Beyond Words. It took me a while to find it. That and my laptop was being stupid, so I restarted it. 

And I don't regret it watching it. 

Today I have absolutely no doubt that I'm a writer. I've known it since years. Right, not to many years, because I'm not even twenty but since I was a child. I might start editing again. It's time to get intrepid April Baker and her twisted family back on editing. That tiny little readhead is been waiting for moths. 

Well, I might start by seeing if I can still wake up at five. 

Confessing...

Every day I wake up looking at the clock. Knowing that I have to wake up and go to work, because I slept too long. Every day I say to myself that today it's the day to start writing in my blog again, I remember thinking that for a month or so. It never happened, because I kept waking up too late and at night I would be too tired to think.

So, today I woke up at 6, did some studying and decided that It was enough, today I'm writing.

Today I'm writing and I'm posting it, I'm not gonna try to be perfect, I'm just gonna be honest.

Germany is a nice country. It's safe, clean, very artistic and well organized. I mean yeah, It might be expensive and have the worst weather ever but I'm really thankful I'm here. I have three months left. I guess you guys haven't been wondered what have I been doing if I was not writing, because before I left writing was all I knew, all I wanted, all I did.

One thing I've been doing as an Au Pair is taking care of the kid and the baby. You know, playing soccer, building enormous rockets with Legos, painting, changing diapers, feeding, and making the kids fall asleep telling them the longest story I can instantly think of. It's fun.

I've been singing with friends from church just because we think we can sing. And I don't know about me but they surely can. I've been going to Institute with all the Young Singles of my stake, cooking for them of just helping to cook. I've been learning how to read the notes on the piano and just learning all I could about the Book of Mormon because that's priority.

I've also been taking some seriously good pictures, because I love sunsets and flowers. I've been getting some resto as well because we're on vacations, A sister gave me a Bible in german and I bought Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone in german because you can't study a lenguage, you just take it as your own including it in your  life an normal routine.

My drawing have been improving as well :) okay! Not that much, I still can't draw a face.

I woke up early so I could write, but now it's time to go to work. But I really wanted to write.

goodbye.

I'm Alive!

And really alive I should say. Sorry I've been out for so long but I found so many excuses for not blogging "Oh, I need to sleep eight hours!" "I might need that time for something else." "I'm lazy and I don't wanna write right now." Okay, that last one is not an excuse, it's the truth.

Many things happened to me since I came to Germany. Things like getting pale because winter was really cloudy. I mean it. I can't remember a single sunny day.

Things like my hands being so not used to this weather that they started bleeding.

Things like getting lost many times in the U Bahn (That's underground train).

Some other things that aren't bad at all.

I went to Rome.

I got some seriously beautiful views :)

 And I baptized as a Latter Day Saint. Yes, you read it right. I'm a Mormon :)

That's all for today, I do have a lot to do today haha, I'll tell you more about some things in another post. Bye :)